I noticed recently I had never done a blog solely about my maternal grandmother., who the family called Nan. This omission is massive, yet not surprising. Nan was an enigma. Who I suspect felt she was completely understandable in every way.
From my perspective - she was a formidable golfer; a devoted wife; a protective grandmother; and a well read / well spoken woman.
Anne's childhood was spent on North Street, in Harrison, New York. The 1920 U.S. Census lists her father, George, as a golf instructor and working at a Country Club; the family's neighbors are also employed at the Country Club working as a groundskeeeper, a maid, a chef, and a chauffeur. Other occupations included farmer, dairyman and an electrician. The neighbors came from a wide range of Countries- Germany, Syria, England and Holland are all listed; the Hughes were seemingly one of the few families on the block that spoke English as their first language with both parents born in the United States.
At some point during her education, Anne met Daniel Patrick McCarthy (Papa); when I first learned that they met as children I inquired if they were in the same carpool (this questions became a favorite story on the cocktail circuit for my grandmother.) How exactly they met I do not know (perhaps a reader does and I can update this entry?) but what I do know for sure- because I saw it - was that my grandfather adored her.
Nan and Papa married on July 20 1940. At Nan's mother's (Mary Ellen Gagan Hughes) request, they purchased her home and she lived with the new couple, as did Nan's youngest sister, Rita (Reet to the family.) The house was a financial burden but the ask was not one that could be denied. Further, having Nan's mother and sister at home was fortuitous when my grandfather was surprising drafted (at age 30), as Nan had help at home with her new born daughter, Sheila Anne McCarthy (born 1 January 1942.)
The most mind blowing story from the Minnesota years (for me as a mom/wife/home manager) is that Nan and Papa had one car - which - pause for impact- Papa drove to work each day. This means that Nan was home - in a suburb - all day - without a car. I remain unclear how she possibly navigated grocery shopping, dry cleaning, and managing two girls in private school (with events, school obligations, etc.) I've asked and no one has a memory of a bus route being in play - so the deduction is that while somethings were delivered, Nan must have run many errands on Saturdays.
Nan and Papa's final professional move with UPS was Greenwich - then UPS headquarters. This move brought us to my favorite grandparent house- 1 Meadowlark, Rye Brook.
Regrettably, my grandfather did not live to take the trip with us; he passed away 8 April 1984. My grandmother took us on the trip herself. We saw her ancestorial town and after that, she quickly began to move on. We got her home to the US and she passed away under her doctors care - 30 June 1984.
It was said - by someone- that a lady's name should appear in the newspaper only at birth and death. It is interesting to note that as I worked to tell Nan's story in the format I've established - using genealogy sources- she came close; she left a small footprint - some press about her golf awards, a wedding announcement, her inclusion in the announcements of her daughters' marriages and her death.
Nan's charm bracelet (a gift to her from my mom) tells a bit more of her story- a New Rochelle charm commemorates her college graduation; a rose denotes her devotion to St. Theresa of the Little Flower; a Captain' hat speaks to the five years she spent apart from Papa during World War II. See the golf bag and the Irish setter charm. The circular charms indicate the dates of birth of Mom and Mickey. Charms showing special trips and vacation memories (Paris) abound. Note the state charms indicating her many moves - and the small ring box - representing her engagement/ marriage. Her life was more than a paper record can convey
Anne Theresa Hughes was born on the 25th of December 1912, to George and Mary Ellen (Gagan) Hughes. She was their first child; two more girls followed, Mary B (?) Hughes (b. 1916) and Rita Georgette Hughes (b. 1923.)
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All three Hughes daughters attended Ursuline School in New Rochelle, New York. Family stories suggest Anne was a strong student with a love of history and literature. She was also an accomplish junior golfer, winning many local tournaments in New York throughout her teen and young adult years. After high school graduation, Anne attended the College of New Rochelle.
After graduating college in 1933, at some point, Nan took a job with the Town of Rye Welfare Office as mentioned in her 1939 engagement announcement. If she spent all six years working there is unclear; I do suspect that there was a gap in her professional life because of a profound family tragedy.
On October 10, 1936, Nan's father, George drove into town to get tickets for a surprise family vacation. While returning, he was in a single car fatal accident; he died at the scene.
As will come as no surprise to anyone with a family member who served in the Second World War, conversations about my grandfather's service were uncommon. He would discuss the war with other veterans, but as far as my memory holds, not with me. Papa was abroad for over 4 years; newspaper articles report him coming home on leave a few times and we have photos of my mom and Papa at Rye PlayLand. One letter home survives...
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| April 1944 pg1 pg2 |
Upon returning home from the War in 1946, Papa returned to work at United Parcel Service (UPS) and Anne welcomed daughter two, Mary Ellen - Mickey to all - (12 February 1948.) The couple was active in the local Catholic community; Papa spoke to a small group about the life of Theresa Neumann ,who lived in Czechoslovakia not far from where he was stationed during the War. (Neumann was a German Catholic mystic.)
The Hughes and McCarthy families continued to live at the home on Lafayette Drive in Port Chester; Rita remained with the family until her marriage to Frank Beluk of Stamford (15 April 1950.)
In 1952, UPS transferred Papa to Minneapolis and the family moved west. Given the depth of roots Nan had in the Port Chester area (dating back to 1870) this move must have been a challenge- emotionally as well as the clear logistical reality!)
Mom and Mickey have found memories of their Minnesota years; they laugh often about the snow, the mice, and the summers spent on lakes. The typical genealogy resources give us few details about the McCarthy's in the 1950s; the family arrived after the 1950 census was taken.
A significant promotion brought the McCarthy's to Pittsburgh in 1960.
In Pittsburgh, Mickey attended high school (at the same school as another Anne Hoey descendant) and both daughters married (Sheila to Samuel Begg 1 August 1964 and Mickey to Dale McLane 31 July 1971.)
Meadowlark is where I learned that one whispers when someone is putting (the someone being on TV) and met a wide range of nuns - guests at various family dinners. There was a wonderful “den” which I remember as being full of books and pictures where we watched TV. Nan and Papa had a cool bedroom atop a flight of stairs - I thought it was like a tree house because it was the only room on that level and Thanksgiving dinner always got too big and dribbled over into rooms adjacent to the formal dining room.
When I was 14, Nan received a cancer diagnosis. The cancer moved quickly and caused deep despair within the family. Nan and Papa planned a high curated family trip to Ireland; the trip was designed to show us Killcummin and some other spots of deep importance to each of them, including a visit to Knock Shrine.
Many who remember Nan reference her as being a bit intimidating, dare I say scary. I don't share that memory but I do recognize it. She was focused - deeply determined and did not waste a lot of time. She spoke with purpose and directly. I would not say she was a good listener - I think back on her in conversations and I see her formulating her next response - always thinking and drawing on her tremendous intellect. She was competitive. She liked to be in charge and she was good at it.
Her husband was charming and kind and filled up a room whenever he walked into it. Given that she too was formidable and lived at a time when women were backgrounds - I’d love to know how she felt about that dichotomy. She found spaces for herself but I do wonder somedays if she had enough - I have often said she should have been CEO of the American Red Cross.
It was said - by someone- that a lady's name should appear in the newspaper only at birth and death. It is interesting to note that as I worked to tell Nan's story in the format I've established - using genealogy sources- she came close; she left a small footprint - some press about her golf awards, a wedding announcement, her inclusion in the announcements of her daughters' marriages and her death.
What she did each day, to include what she contributed to others and what memories she made with them, are not documentable in the standard sources.
Nan's charm bracelet (a gift to her from my mom) tells a bit more of her story- a New Rochelle charm commemorates her college graduation; a rose denotes her devotion to St. Theresa of the Little Flower; a Captain' hat speaks to the five years she spent apart from Papa during World War II. See the golf bag and the Irish setter charm. The circular charms indicate the dates of birth of Mom and Mickey. Charms showing special trips and vacation memories (Paris) abound. Note the state charms indicating her many moves - and the small ring box - representing her engagement/ marriage. Her life was more than a paper record can convey
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